Superfamily
by ghost509
Summary: A story in which the Avengers are one big, happy, dysfunctional, and weird family while Peter Parker is the very loveable and irresistible 'adopted' child.
1. Car

"Please?

"No Peter."

"Pretty please?"

"No Peter."

"Pretty please with a American flag on top?"

"Nooooooooo Peter!"

Dr. Strange sighed in annoyance by the voices behind him. Peter, also know as Spider-Man, and Steve, also known as Captain America, have been going back and forth arguing for the last 10 minutes...well, it was more like Peter begging and Steve continuously saying 'no' in just about everyway possible.

"What's with all the commotion?" He asked with a sigh, before someone started running towards him.

"Mr. Dr. Strange! You're magic, can you help me out? Pleeeeeeeeeease?" Peter begged, giving him his famous 'puppy dog eyes'.

"I-It depends on what you need." Strange stuttered, looking away from that accursed look. That look was Peters true power, not his super strength or spider-sense. That look could make any bend to his will.

"Don't do it Strange!" Steve ordered loudly.

"Why do you hate me?!"

"Son, I don't hate you, I'm just being reasonable. There's no reason for you to have a car!"

" _That's_ what this is about?" Strange questioned, groaning in irritation. "I thought it had to do with the bullies at your school!"

"Bullies?"

"It is...kind of. Just about everyone at school has a car or motorcycle besides me! I'm tired of everyone bragging and making fun of me!"

"I'm sorry everyone's being rude to you over something very stupid and petty. But I agree with Steve, I'm not helping you with this problem."

"What problem?" A new voice asked after the elevator 'dinged'. Peter's eyes widened and he grinned before running towards the source.

"Mr. Stark! Can you get me a car please?"

"Do you even know how to drive?"

"No, but I've seen all three Cars movies, all eight Fast and Furious movies, and I've also re-watched Baby Driver approximately twice so..."

"...Good enough for me, lets go."

"TONY NO!"


	2. Nightmare

They didn't know when the nightmares first started, they just knew how they started. They also knew, courtesy of Aunt May, what to do incase he had one. Since everyone cared for the kid they agreed on a schedule for when he had a nightmare. But since there were eight of them it was decided the final two would go comfort him on the same night. Tonight was that night.

Natasha and Wanda alike raced through the compound, adrenaline pumping through their veins as they made turn after turn. It was like this every Sunday, where FRIDAY would wake them up at two am and inform them about what was going on. They would immediately be snapped out of their sleepy daze and start to panic before running to his room. They had no time to think about anything else, their only thought was that they needed to get to him _stat_. They were worried for his well-being so much that Wanda often forgot about the fact that she could teleport.

Natasha would be the first to the door by a mere second before Wanda showed up, each breathing heavily. Nodding to each other Natasha opened the door before they flooded in, the sounds of whimpering and pleading whispers of 'don't go' would break their hearts as they rushed to the bed. They slid into the bed and started to gently shake him.

"Peter? Peter sweetie it's okay. We're here, me and Wanda are here." Natasha cooed as they tried waking him back, slowly rocking him back and forth to wake him up.

Peter's eyes opened and he gasped loudly, his heart beated against his chest as he took in the new scenery. This wasn't the streets of New York, this was his room at the Avengers tower.

"W-What happened?" He asked slowly, his breath ragged and fast as if he had ran a marathon.

"You had a nightmare honey." Wanda informed, lacing their fingers together. She was unaware of the dirty look Natasha was giving her.

"O-Oh...sorry you two. I-I didn't mean for this to happen..."

"Nonsense! You should know by now we don't mind coming to check up on you, especially if you're having a nightmare!" Natasha stated, grabbing his head and pressing it into her chest for comfort. He blushed, his cheeks turning crimson red. It was awkward enough when she was wearing her combat suit, it was even more awkward when she was wearing nothing but a black tank top (and nothing underneath may I add).

She chose to ignore the glare Wanda sent her way.

"Do you want to talk about it mein engel?" She questioned, snuggling into his side.

"N-No...it was about my uncle." He whispered, causing them to slightly flinch. They knew what had happened to Uncle Ben and how guilty Peter felt about his death (even though literally everyone agreed it wasn't his fault). "Can...can you guys stay in here for the night? You don't have to if you don't want to!"

The two smiled and nodded, before getting under the blanket with Peter and retaking their old positions, their limbs tangled with his own.

It would be seven hours until Tony would wake up and be informed by FRIDAY about Peter's nightmare. He went to go check up on the youngest Avenger and knocked softly on the door before opening it. He smiled at the view, which was Peter being squashed in-between Natasha and Wanda, his head resting between their rather busty chests.

"Lucky dog." Tony whispered to himself, smiling. "FRIDAY take a picture if you will. I'm running out of blackmail material."

"Already taken care of boss. Which file should I save it under?"

"Any, it doesn't matter." Tony closed the door before making his way to the lounge. "How's the pool looking?" **(pool in this scenario basically means bet)**

"Well from what I've seen it appears Natasha will make the first move. Wanda tends to be a bit shy around him."

"Dammit, we can't let Barton win! Search for any low level missions SHIELD needs done. Let Fury know I'll gladly lend him Spidey and Scarlet."

"Yes boss."

* * *

 **(I figure now is a good time to tell you all that these chapters are in no particular order, and that I'll let you decide what Peter's age is. If you want two women over the age of 20 fighting for the affection of a 15 year old go ahead. If you want him 18 than go ahead.)**


	3. Bullies

"Friend Bruce, please explain to me the importance of what you 'school'." Thor stated, staring out the window and at the many people they were passing.

The Avengers also had a schedule for when they would pick Peter up from school. Tony had Mondays, Steve had Tuesdays, Clint Wednesdays, Thor and Bruce had Thursdays, and Wanda had Fridays (since Fridays were the days Natasha often had missions she had to go do). Sadly Aunt May was unable to since her job schedule was switched to work during the day.

They did this for one main reason. Not many people knew that Peter was living at the Avengers tower, and even less people knew that Tony was his guardian when May wasn't around. So to keep the media off of them, and especially Peter, they made it to where everyone would pitch in to drop him off and pick him up from school. More often than not everyone who went was wearing a disguise, but a disguise didn't help when Tony would purposely pick Peter up in a Lamborghini.

"Well Thor, school is used to give kids an education basically. With an education they can become smarter, get jobs that pay well or enjoy, and achieve what is called 'The American Dream'." Bruce informed, taking a right. The school entered their sight.

"I see...but why does Young Peter have to go? Is he not intelligent enough just to skip?"

"Well...I guess he is Thor, but-"

"And what of you and Young Stark? Surely the two of you could teach him everything he must know."

"Again, you make a good point, but-"

"And why must he get a job? Stark is rich and SHIELD does pay us for being heroes. I'm sure he would be fine without having a normal human job."

"...You've stumped me Thor." Bruce sighed as he pulled into the parking lot and looked at the time. It was 3:30, they had just arrived for school to end.

"Haha, yes! I have stumped the mighty Banner! Take that Stark!" Thor laughed loudly and joyously, clapping his hands together in cheer.

"Just don't tell Tony please? He'll never let me hear the end of it." Bruce sighed.

"Yes, Starks ego is quite large, unlike himself." Thor nodded, watching as the students finally started stampeding through the doors. But through the large group of different colored hair and skin, one person stood out the most. "Ah, I see Young Parker! I shall wave and beckon him to come our way!" Thor informed before he started lowering the window...or at least, he tried figuring out how to roll it down.

Bruce nodded without a word, plucking pieces of lint and string off of his purple shirt. He winced when he saw Peter tumble down the stairs out of the corner of his eye. His red and gold backpack (supplied by Stark, of course) had slid a foot away from him.

"Thor, reach in the glove box and hand me a Band-Aid please. I can't believe how clumsy he can be."

"Aye, you are right about that. I believe he gets it from Barton!" He exclaimed, before opening the glove box and handing Bruce a small, blue and white box. "I see three kids walking down the stairs and talking to Peter, I believe they are his friends and will help him!"

"That's nice Thor." Bruce replied as he tried opening the box. He let out a small grunt when the top flap ripped in half.

"Banner...I do not believe they are his friends." Thor informed, all joy and happiness gone from his tone and replaced by anger.

When Bruce looked up to see what he meant, he began doing a breathing exercise. The three kids weren't helping Peter up, they were laughing down at him and pointing. One even had his foot stomped onto the bag, stopping Peter from being able to take it and leave.

"Why didn't he tell us he was getting bullied?" Bruce whispered to himself, trying to calm down.

"I do not know, but I cannot let this stand! I hate bullies!" Thor exclaimed, exiting the car before Bruce had a chance to lock it.

"Don't get involved, don't get involved, don't get involved. Think of puppies, cute little puppies." Bruce chanted to himself. His urge to get involved spiked when the three boys started throwing Peters bad above his head. They were playing monkey in the middle with him. "I'm getting involved." Bruce sighed before exiting the car. He was thankful that they were the only ones outside currently, because things were probably about to get messy.

"Do you know who I am?!" He heard Thor exclaimed as he got closer.

"Some weird, old, blonde guy." One of the boys answered.

"What's going on here?" Bruce questioned as he stood next to Thor.

"What are you guys doing here? I had it under control!" Peter whispered.

"I was merely explaining to these heathens why they shouldn't be bullying Peter here." Thor informed.

"What are you guys? His parents?" One boy snorted. "Newsflash, they're kinda dead."

"Flash." Peter growled.

"Sorry Penis Parker, the truth stings doesn't it?" 'Flash' chuckled.

"Permission to electrocute them?" Thor whispered to Bruce.

"So _not_ granted." Bruce whispered back, before feeling something hit his shirt. Looking down, he realized one of the brats had spit on him.

"Oh no." Peter gulped.

"Do you have control of the big guy?" Thor asked.

"A little bit yeah...Peter's just gotta control him once he's free."

"Big guy? Damn Parker, I knew you were gay but being into old guys? That's a new low, even for you." Flash stated, causing the two boys to laugh.

The laughing died down however when Bruce started growing...and becoming green. They took a step back, eyes widening as the one and only Hulk now stood before them. Hulk growled at them, before his eyes fell down on Peter. He remembered what the other guy witnessed, and grew beyond angry.

"You hurt Hulks friend. Hulk hurt you!" Hulk roared, getting right into their faces and showing off his yellow teeth.

"Y-You're friends with the Hulk, Parker?" Flash gulped, legs shaking and a new wet spot forming.

"Aye, and Hulk is not his only friend." Thor informed before sticking his arm out. After a few seconds Mjolnir flew into his hands. Raising it into the air, lighting began to flashing in the sky above them. "It is I Thor, god of thunder!" He exclaimed before dropping the hammer onto the ground, causing it to shake.

"...Parker! What are you doing on the ground buddy old pal?" Flash questioned, helping Peter to get feet and dusting him off. He snatched the bag from his friend and handed it to Peter. "You gotta stop being so clumsy big guy!"

Hulk growled lowly, before he noticed something. Reaching out he grabbed Peter right hand gently and turned it, showing that there was a nasty cut on his palm. He roared loudly and grabbed onto all three before they tried running away. He then 'gently' slammed the three into the ground and got closer, roaring even louder into their faces.

"Hulk smash you for hurting Peter!"

"Hulk!" Peter got close and grabbed onto Hulk's right hand, getting his attention. "I know you're angry right now, but I am _fine_! Okay? You don't need to smash or hurt anyone, I'm sure they're sorry. Right guys?"

"So, sooooooooooo sorry!" One of the lackeys screamed.

"And I'm sure this is the last time they bully me, right guys?"

"Yes!"

"See? So you don't have to Hulk out anymore, okay? You saved me!" He exclaimed, smiling at the green giant. Hulks gazed softened at that.

"Hulk...help without smash?"

"You did, yeah."

Smiling, Hulk let go of the three and began shrinking, letting Banner take control. Banner was quick to grab onto the remains of his pants and held them high.

The boys were quick to get up and run away, and screamed as a 'sudden' flash of lighting hit the sky.

"Let us go back to the car. It is time for the cream of ice!" Thor exclaimed, grabbing Mjolnir and wrapping a arm around Peters shoulders.

"Can one of you go in and get me something? I'm not exactly dressed for going...well _anywhere_ right now." Bruce blushed, causing the others to laugh as they entered the car.

"Thanks for helping me out you guys...the bullying has been going on for far too long."

"Anytime, friend Peter!"

"You're part of the family now Peter. If you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us." Bruce informed as they exited the parking lot.

"...Are you going to tell the others about what happened?"

"Oh big time." Thor and Bruce answered simultaneously.


	4. Party

"Wallet?"

"Check."

"Phone?"

"Check."

"Address incase one of us needs to come get you?"

"Check."

"Condom?"

"Jesus Christ Stark, what the fuck?"

"Teenagers make stupid mistakes Barton." Tony hissed, before licking his palm and smoothing down a strand of hair on Peters head that stood straight up.

"C'mon Mr. Stark! You can mess with a lot of things, but don't mess with a mans hair!" Peter whined, before running both hands through his hair, messing it up yet again.

"How dare you? I had your hair perfect!" Tony gasped, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Lay off the kid Stark, it's just a high school party. He doesn't have to look like someone that works for you." Hawkeye rolled his eyes in annoyance as he flipped through different channels, trying to find something good on to watch.

"He'll have better chance with the girls there if he looks like a respected business man than some high school drop out!"

"You really have no idea what girls these days are interested in, do you?"

"Good looks and money?"

"...Oh, so you do." Clint shook his head. "Listen here kid, there's one thing you need to know about parties. Know your limit."

"My limit?"

"Yeah, the amount you can drink before you pass out or puke. Know your limit and don't embarrass yourself."

"I already know my limit though." Peter informed, surprising the two.

"You've drank before?"

"All the time, yeah. I'm always drinking here at the Tower."

"You're _what_?!" Tony exclaimed. "Who's your buyer? Bucky? Sam? Scott? I swear to _god_ if it's Vision I'll dismantle him!"

"None of them Mr. Stark. I buy it myself. I even drink all the time when I'm at other peoples parties."

"Damn kid, how much do you drink?"

"A lot, a whole lot. Like so, so, _so_ much! 15."

"...15 what?"

"Capri suns. Yeah, you heard me right. 15 Capri suns in 35 minutes. It's no big deal." Peter stated, before pulling a fruit punch Capri sun out of his back pocket.

"...How long as that been in there?" Tony questioned.

"Several days." Peter answered, before he phone buzzed. Pulling it out to check, he smiled. "Ned's out front. See ya Clint, see ya Mr. Stark!" Peter waved as he ran into the elevator before it started to descend, leaving the two Avengers alone.

"That kid right there, Barton, is _way_ to pure for this earth!" Tony exclaimed before leaving for his lab.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna make him a machine that gives him as much Capri sun as he wants!"


	5. Randomness

**(Fight Me!)**

The loud cracking sound caused Bruce to flinch. Looking away from his own invention, he turned to see Tony kneeling on the ground, the remains of his now broken machine crumbling in his hands.

 _'Looks like Cap owes me a 20.'_ Bruce thought with a sigh.

"Dammit kid! Get down here and fight like a man!" He heard Tony scream angrily, breaking him out of his thoughts. Looking back, he saw Tony was yelling at the ceiling, shaking his fist. When Bruce looked up, he noticed Peter was standing upside down on the ceiling.

"Oh yeah? Why don't _you_ come up here and fight like a spider." Peter challenged, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh it's fucking on." Snapping his fingers Tony's Iron Man suit came flying from the other side of the room. He opened and attached itself to his body in mere seconds. With a small growl he launched himself into the air and towards Peter. With a squawk Peter webbed away and around the room, avoiding Tony anytime he got close.

Rubbing his temples in aggravation, Bruce popped in his earbuds and began listening to classical music, hoping to drown out the sounds of even more inventions being broken.

* * *

 **(What's the fuss?)**

Sam sighed as he sat at the island in the Avengers Towers kitchen, watching as Clint, Quill (Star-Lord), Tony, and that 'Peter' kid played Mario Kart. He found it amusing as Clint screamed his head off, censoring every curse word he wanted to say for the sake of the kid. He was being hit with just about every object in the game, and it all started when he was first place. Tony just so happened to get a blue shell, which always went for the person in first, and could smash pass people on its way.

The kid was in first now, with Cap, Wanda, and surprisingly Widow cheering him on the adjacent couch. Clint tried driving with one hand and attempted to mess with Peter, only to get slapped in the back of the head by Vision, who floated behind them. Bruce sat two chairs away from Sam, reading a book and occasionally looking up to see who was winning.

With a loud 'whoo' the kid crossed first placed, followed by Tony in second, an NPC (non-player character) that was Mario, and so on. Quill ended up in sixth while Clint was tenth.

"It's always the red shells!" Clint screamed, pulling at his hair in aggravation while the others laughed.

"I'll get ya a beer Barton, you'll need it for the next course." Tony grinned, as he slapped his knee before getting up.

"What's the next map?"

"Rainbow Road." Tony answered, before everyone laughed as Clint groaned loudly.

"It's okay Clint...I won't be too hard on ya." Peter grinned, before laughing loudly as Hawkeye wrapped an arm loosely around his neck. He started giving him a noogie, and Peter tried pushing him away. "Not the hair!"

"Hey Tony, can I talk to you?" Sam asked when Tony was close.

"Sure. What's the word, early bird?" Tony questioned with a grin as he opened the fridge.

"It's just that I'm kinda confused right now."

"Well whatever you are Sam, we'll accept you no matter what." Tony informed, before pulling out two cold beers.

"No, that not! I just don't really understand the fuss over that Peter kid." Sam stated, gesturing to Peter, who tried batting Widow and Wanda away as they tried fixing his hair. The fridge slammed loudly, startling Sam. Turning around, his eyes widened at the harsh glare Tony game him. "Uh, Tony?"

"Shouldn't of said that." Bruce muttered quietly.

"I can either fling you across the room or show you a 500 plus slideshow presentation on why Peter is the best. You choose."

"Uh..."

"Get the slideshow Tony." Bruce sighed.

"I'm getting the slideshow!" Tony exclaimed loudly as he ran out of the room. Sam stared wide eyed at Bruce, who shrugged and got up.

"I'll take Tony's place until he gets back."

* * *

 **(You Asshole!)**

"Is Antman really coming?" Peter asked with a gasp.

"Yup. You know, the two of you are really going to hit it off, since you guys have something in common." Sam informed

"Ooo, what is it?"

"You both bug me!" Sam joked, laughing loudly as he slapped his knee.

"I'll try to pretend that doesn't hurt..." Peter trailed off with a frown.

"Wait no-" Sam was cut off by the sound of footsteps. A door was slammed open before Tony ran into the living area.

"WILSON YOU ASSHOLE!"


	6. Hydrosphere, Atmosphere, Biggesphere

Tony hated a lot of things. Death, villains, people trying to hurt his team (his family), bullies, _anyone_ who dared hurt Peter, hangovers, Norman Osborn, Normans son, Normans company, and doing his taxes (they were honestly such a pain). But what he hated most? Bed rest.

Tony sighed as he tried shifting on his big and luxurious bed, wincing at the pain. Both of his legs and left arm were in casts, and bandages covered all of his stomach, most of his chest, and right upper arm.

It was an ordinary day, where he and Peter were flying/swinging over New York in search of any crime that was taking place. He had watched Peter take down a gang of four who were trying to rape a woman, a mugger, a guy who was stealing a bike (and he had the privilege of watching Peter aimlessly walk around the busy streets, bike in his hand and Spiderman costume on, trying to find the owner), and helped save a few people from a burning building. His chest swelled with pride as he watched him hand a couple their baby. They held the baby close, crying like crazy and thanking Peter nonstop. Hell, the man even promised to put him through college for what he had done. But Peter being Peter, decided a churro was more than enough.

Things were good, until they weren't. An EMP blast hit Stark out of nowhere, causing him to fall to the ground. Peter had caught him before he smashed into the road, and gently sat him against a building. Doc Ock, Goblin (one of the reasons why he hated Osborn), and the Shocker popped up and tried taking his Iron Man suit. Peter fought them off and called for backup while Tony tried getting his suit to work again. One of Docs tentacles found its way to him and opened his suit, allowing Shocker to pull him out. He zapped Tony (not enough to kill him, but more than enough to injure him), and Goblin threw a few bombs down. It broke the building behind them, causing some pieces of the stone walls to fall. It almost crushed Shocker (which was good), but it managed to land on Tony's legs and left arm (very, very bad). Furious, the kid managed to beat all three of the villains before helped arrived. He webbed them up, took away what made them threatening, and stuck the giant ball of web and evil to the side of another building so SHIELD could pick them up later.

When helped arrived they brought Tony and Peter back to the tower. Bruce healed Tony as best as he could, before putting the slings on and putting him on bed rest. For. Two. _Weeks!_ Weeks! Tony would honestly prefer death over not being allowed to move! At least when he was dead, he _knew_ he couldn't do anything! But with bed rest, he knew he could do stuff, like inventing and building, he just wasn't allowed. He was a child who started showing symptoms of being sick, so his parents ordered him to stay home and miss school! Thankfully, there was one thing that made this bearable.

There was a knock at his door, which caused him to grin.

"You don't have to knock kid. Just don't come in when I have a tie on the door." Stark called out. He smiled as the door slowly opened, and when Peter poked his head through.

"Hi Mr. Stark." He said and smiled softly, shuffling into the room slowly as if the floor would break under his weight. A small stack of notecards was held tightly in his left hand.

"Hey kid, how's everything on the outside? Have gas prices been raised yet? Have they cured cancer? Brought dinosaurs back to life? Has a actually _good_ DC live action movie come out yet?" He joked (except about the DC thing). Peter smiled weakly and chuckled, just as he pulled up a chair and sat down to Starks bed.

"No none of those yet. Although DC fight sequences are pretty good..." Peter trailed off, slapping the card pile against his knee.

"I'm sure they are kid. What'cha got there?" Tony asked as he pointed to Peters hand.

"Oh! These are notecards, I'm using them for a upcoming test U have...I was hoping that you would help me? Ya know, since you're kinda stuck here..."

"Of course Pete! All you gotta do is ask! Hand them here." He reached out and grabbed the cards from Peter. The first one had only a few words on it. "What's a hydrosphere?"

"Sphere of water."

"Atmosphere?"

"Sphere of air."

Tony nodded before flicking another card away. He was beyond confused, what were with these questions? Why did Peter need help anyway? Not only was he extremely intelligent, but he also had access to some of the most brilliant minds _ever_. Tony's confusion only grew with what the current card said, he didn't recognize it.

"Biggesphere? What's that?" Tony looked up from the card and to Peter. His eyes only widened when he saw how sad Peter looked, his eyes weren't the usual pool of brightness. They were now a cesspool of gloom.

"Losing you." He answered, before blinking away the tears that began to form. Tony's jaw dropped.

 _'Biggesphere? Bigges phere...Biggest fear!'_

Tossing the cards away, Tony extended his good arm and motioned for Peter to come close. Nodding, Peter drove into Starks waiting arm. He himself wrapped his arms around Tony, careful not to injure the man of iron anymore than he already was. The tears finally started to fall when Tony wrapped his arm around him, hand holding tightly onto the back of his head and bringing him closer.

"You won't kid...I'm not going _anywhere_ , _anytime_ soon. You understand me?" He felt the younger Avenger nod, and cursed the cast around his left arm. He wanted to bring the young spider closer, to show that he _meant_ what he promised. He was thankful for many things nowadays. But what he was thankful for most at the moment?

Peter couldn't see his own tears start to form.


	7. Randomness 2

**(Ice Cream)**

Peter whistled as he rode the elevator up to the Avengers living area, a vanilla ice-cream cone was clutched in his hand. He was returning from his daily Spiderman route when Steve had called him for a request. There was usually a ice-cream stand in front of the tower everyday around this time, it was good for business since not only did elementary and middle schools end by now, but a lot of kids visited the tower to take selfies and stand outside in hopes of seeing one of their heroes. Wanting to be nice and get on Steve's good side (and Steve had also promised him money in return), he had spent three dollars to get him a cone.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, revealing the living area. Peter walked to the couch, where Steve and Bucky were watching some cooking show where some old guy was screaming at everyone.

"Here's your ice-cream Steve. Can I have my money please?" Peter asked while handing Steve the cone.

"Oh when I said I'd give you one buck, I meant you could hang out with Bucky here." Steve informed while motioning to his old war buddy. Smiling, Peter picked Bucky off the couch.

"I'm cool with that, I'll bring him back later." Peter informed as he walked away with a stunned looking Bucky.

"What the fuc-"

"LANGUAGE BUCK!"

* * *

 **(Lost)**

Peter stared across the crowd of people, unable to see his friend Ned anywhere. They were at comic-con and Ned got sidetracked by some new comic that was currently being published. It was about some edgy dude that dressed as a bat and fought crime. Yeah, who was _that_ lame to like that stuff?...Well Ned apparently.

And here Peter was, completely lost, alone, with a dead phone, and unable to find Ned...unless!

"SPIDERMAN SUCKS!" He shouted over the crowd.

"SAY THAT TO MY FACE!" He heard Ned shout from the northern end of the building, which caused Peter to smile.

"Ah, there he is."

* * *

 **(Emojis)**

"The English language can not fully capture the death and complexity of my thoughts, so I'm now incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself." Peter informed Sam and Clint.

"Peter, we're begging you. _Please_ STOP!" Sam screamed as he and Clint sobbed.

"XD!"


	8. Randomness 3

**(Constitution or Prostitution?)**

The Avengers Tower was quiet, besides the single TV playing in the living area.

Peter and Steve were the only two in the whole tower currently. The rest of the team were out on a mission right not, and Steve was chosen to watch over the younger teammate. So here they sat, Peter mindlessly flipping through TV channels while Steve read the newspaper (which consisted of _another_ hit piece on Spiderman).

"Hey Mr. Rogers?"

"Yes Peter?"

"You're into politics, mind answering a question I have?"

Steve smiled brightly, before closing and sitting the paper down. He always loved when Peter came to _him_ for answers instead of Tony. It made him feel special.

"What is it my boy?"

"If pro means good and con means bad, does that mean progress is better than congress?"

... _What?!_

"Uh, I don't think-"

"THAT MEANS PROSTITUTION IS BETTER THAN THE CONSTITUTION, RIGHT?! I'm GONNA BE A PROSTITUTE! Thanks Mr. Rogers!"

Peter stood up and ran towards the elevator, mentioning Widow has some stuff he could use for his latest adventure. Steve just stared blankly at where Peter once sat, before everything finally hit him.

"PETER NO!"

 **(Best dad)**

Strange rarely visited the tower, he only did when he needed help or was truly bored. And he was _bored_ as _**fuck**_ _._ That's why he found himself in the living area, reading a magazine while Widow and Hawkeye arm wrestled (it was 5-0 at this point), Vision and Scarlett were baking, and Steve was watching a WWII documentary.

The elevator singed behind them, which was followed by laughter that caught everyone's attention. Tony and Peter walked out, 3D glasses from the movies hanging from Peter face while Tony's was folded and hanging from the collar of his shirt.

"You guys have fun?" Clint asked, before feeling his hand meet the table. Turning around, he glared at Widow who tried looking innocent, as if she didn't just cheat.

"It was awesome! I'm still shocked Mr. Stark reserved the _whole_ move theater just for us!"

As a reward for having straight A's, Tony had reserved the entire movie theater for just the two of them. They had spent about seven hours there, watching different movies that were currently playing.

"Just wished they had a better selection. Had to bribe a few people to play this one movie Peter's been wanting to see. No showings in New York my ass." He grumbled the last part under his breath.

"Well we're glad you two had fun." Steve smiled.

"Yeah! Mr. Starks like, the best dad ever!"

That had gotten aww's from most of the group, and caused Tony to blush. Strange just smirked and stood up. He _loved_ messing with Stark.

"Is he now?" He questioned, before opening a portal. In it, everyone could see Cinderella's castle from Disney World. "I have about 10,000 on me right now. Want to go?"

"Suddenly Mr. Dr. Strange is my dad now." Peter grinned, before running to his new fathers' side.

"oh IT'S ON!"

 **(Swearing)**

"What the heck?!" Peter exclaimed, watching as the TV screen filed with blood with the bold words ' **You Died** ' showing up. He sighed, before placing the controller down.

"Did you just fucking swear?!" Tony exclaimed from the elevator, just 'slightly' drunk.

"No I-"

"You're grounded!"

 **(Worthy)**

"Don't do anything stupid Thor." Bruce ordered.

"Shh." Thor shushed, causing the Hulk wielder to sigh as they continued watching Peter.

Peter was currently creating a four-foot robot in the living room. He'd do it in the lap, but Clint _might've_ blown something up and sent a bunch of goop flying around the room. So while he alone (with a toothbrush) was cleaning it, Peter was forced to work in here. It was for the upcoming science fair.

"Watch this." Thor whispered, grabbing Mjolnir and walking over to the young kid. "Hey Peter!"

"Yes Mr. Thor?" He asked, not looking away from his invention.

"Can you hold this for me please? I must do something and cannot bring it with." Thor bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

"Of course!" Peter exclaimed, holding his hand out for whatever Thor needed held.

Thor reached out and placed the handle in Peter's hands. His fingers closed around it and Thor pulled away.

But instead of Peter being sent falling down like expected, he merely stood there, still not paying attention. Mjolnir's handle clutched tightly in his hand.

"Why, this thing is light!" He exclaimed, not noticing Thor's shocked facial expression, or Bruce's surprised expression.

 **(No Imagination)**

Falcon pinched the bridge of his nose, a headache starting to form.

"Remind me, _why_ did you come through the window instead of the elevator?" He asked, starring as Peter (not in costume) closed the window to the living room.

Peter had just gotten out of school. And instead of using the elevator like _literally anyone else_ , he decided to _climb the whole way up_!

"Doors and elevators are for people with no imagination."


	9. Randomness 4

**(Vaccines)**

Staring down at his watch, Tony rapidly tapped his foot against the cold concrete as he waited for a certain _someone_ to be released. What was the kid thinking?! He was gonna get in soooooooo much trouble with his aunt!

There was a loud "beep" followed by the sound of a metal door sliding. He snapped his attention to it and scowled as Peter stood at the window.

"One Avengers wallet, one Hulk Watermelon pack of gum, an Iron Man watch, a Captain American Keychain, and a cellphone. Have a good day Mr. Parker, try to not let this happen again." The officer, an African American female with brown eyes and short black hair, ordered, before looking up at Tony. "And _you_ Mr. Stark, need to take better care of this young man! Teach him right from wrong!"

He found it funny that she said that when talking about _the_ Spiderman. You know, fighter and savior of the people of New York?

Wait, he was supposed to be mad at him, not admiring him!

"Will do officer, you won't be seeing Peter for a _loooooooong_ time." He smiled, which Peter could tell was fake. He knew the man was angry. "C'mon Pete, time to get you back to your aunts house."

"Yes Mr. Stark." He whispered; head hung low as he followed his idol out of the police station. They walked in silence to the red Ferrari that sat out front and entered. He waited for the scolding.

"You kidnapped a kid?!" Tony shouted, turning to stare at Peter with furious, and disappointed eyes. "How could you be so stupid?! _Why_ did you do such a thing?!"

"I-It's not my fault Mr. Stark! His parents refused to get him vaccinated, so ya…I was going to take him."

"…"

 **(2 hours later)**

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, tapping his foot impatiently against the cold concrete. He looked up and glared at the "beep", followed by the sound of a sliding door, and watched as his two friends were led out by an officer. Like earlier, they were given their belongings, before standing in front of Steve.

"Peter…Tony… _why'd you kidnap a child_?!"

* * *

 **(Observing)**

There was something about the way his body moved she found…fascinating. The way it flexed and twisted as he flew in the guy, like a…what did the Terrans call it? A bird! Yes, he was much like a bird as he flew above the giant towers of downtown New York.

It was around 3 pm, with the sun high above the city and plenty of honking coming from the Terrans vehicles below the Avengers tower. She came out here everyday day and observed him, watched as he helped weaker Terrans from petty criminals or walk old Terrans across the street, watched as he helped little animals stuck in trees, and watched him crush his enemies under his feet.

It was… _alluring_. The way he moved and fought and _destroyed_ Terrans made her stomach…flutter? Her knees shake, an entire wave of heat washed over her body as she had a sudden urge to bite her lip. Her heart couldn't stop thumping against her ribcage.

Was she getting sick? Terran sickness was _everywhere_ as of late.

She felt something small bit the side of her head, but she ignored it. But then it happened again…and again…and again.

" _What_ do you want Stark?" She growled, turning around to glare at her…companion.

"Your milkshake's melting." He informed, pointing to her glass of white cream, before leaning down to sip at his own. Little balls of paper sat at his fingertips.

Ah yes, the…'milkshake' he had brought her when they first came out here. She enjoyed it, but she was enjoying observing his little friend way more.

"I…apologize. I was preoccupied with something." She informed, using her straw to shake around the glasses content before taking a sip. This flavor, vanilla(?), wasn't enough to stop the heat on her body.

"I can see that Bluebell, you had your head up in the clouds."

"My head wasn't in the clouds, it's right here on my shoulders." She retorted.

"No, I didn't mean-" He stopped himself and pinched the bridge of his nose. _'Aliens.'_ He sighed out loud.

"I _meant_ you were distracted by something." He clarified, before looking behind her bald, blue head and seeing his little buddy swinging from building to building. He smiled. "And I think I can see _who_ is distracting you. Does my little alien assassin _like_ my little spider?"

"Of course I like him, I haven't killed him…yet." Nebula informed.

"No, I mean…do you like him, or _like_ him, _like_ him? You know…" Tony trailed off, making a hole with his left hands finger and thumb and inserting his right hands index finger inside.

She stared at him for a few seconds, unmoving and unblinking, until something finally seemed to click. Her eyes widened, her cheeks turned purple, and the glass shattered into pieces, sending milkshake and glass flying across the table.

"I…am going to _kill you_ if you _ever_ say, or ask, or do… _that_ again." She growled, before standing up and walking through the glass door behind him. Tony merrily raised his hands in surrender as she walked past.

But before she entered, she turned around and glanced once more at the man knows as 'Spiderman', still flying through the air before doing at least five flips, and landing on a building's rooftop. Hands on his hips, he stared down at the city below him. She could see his mask crease and moved, meaning he was smiling. And she could feel her stomach flutter and cheeks heat up again, but was quick to shake her head and go inside, ready to clean her hand off.

' _Me like him? Preposterous.'_

* * *

 **(Vaccines 2)**

Pepper Potts couldn't believe she was doing this. Picking Tony up from jail was bad enough, especially since he had a _billionaire dollar company_ and was the _face_ of the _Avengers_!

But picking up _everyone_ was fucking ridiculous!

"Does _anybody_ want to explain to me what the hell you all were thinking?!" She screamed at the collected group, the same officer from earlier nodding at her outburst.

The group in question was _all_ of the Avengers. Literally everyone excluding the Guardians.

"Pepper, honey, we can explain-"

"No no no! Not from you Tony. Strange, what the _fuck_?!" She exclaimed, choosing to ask the wizard instead of everyone else since he usually _didn't_ do dumb shit.

"Ms. Potts, I assure you we all had the best intention in mind for the child we…liberated-"

"Stole!"

" _Stole_. His parents are refusing to get him vaccinated, so we decided to help him." The wizard informed. "And if it lessens your anger, Peter started this all." He informed, throwing the youngest avenger under the bus.

"Wha-Strange!"

"Wait wait wait, so his parents won't get him vaccinated _and_ Peter started this all?" She asked, drawing nods from everyone. "…So we have a new mission we have to do."

"NO! NO MORE 'MISSIONS'!" The entire police department shouted in desperation.


	10. Randomness 5

**(Lemons)**

Very rarely did Tony ever eat food for breakfast, his usual breakfast was liquid based, mainly coffee with the occasional dash of some kind of alcohol. But today, for whatever reason, he craved some cereal.

That's how he found himself waking up before anyone, even Steve. He shuffled into the kitchen, dragging his feet as he scratched at his bedhead. He covered his mouth and yawned while grabbing out a bowl from the cabinet, a box of frosted flakes from another cabinet, and a spoon from the drawer. He also grabbed the milk from the fridge before sitting them all down on the island.

Opening the box he began to pour, only instead of cereal, three lemons rolled out and into the bowl. Starring down at them, Tony rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, or dreaming.

There was a loud screeching sound, which was often associated with a megaphone turning on. Grabbing a lemon, he walked towards the window and opened it. Across the street on another buildings rooftop stood Peter, in his Spiderman outfit.

"Well, when life gives you lemons!" He shouted into the megaphone, trying not to giggle.

Tony just stared at him, before throwing the lemon and hitting Peter in the head, knocking him out and sending his body to the roof with a ' _thud_ '.

"It's too early for…this." He sighed, before shuffling back to his room to sleep with Pepper.

* * *

 **(Rules)**

"Hey! Hey hey hey! You can't do out! It's cheating!" Clint shouted as he fought Peter in some fighting game, which Tony never bothered getting the name of as he watched them with mild interest. All he knew was that it was gory as hell, Peter was good at it, and Clint sucked at it.

"Rules are meant to be broken!" Peter shouted in laughter, delivering a final uppercut to win the match. He cheered while Clint grabbed a pillow and screamed into it.

You see, Peter has used a cheat move that caused him to do double the normal damage he'd normally do. It helped him win almost instantly every time.

"Uh, no? They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken." Steve informed, disapproving of Peter's attitude and cheating.

"Uh, pinatas?"

"Glow sticks." Tony piped up.

"Karate boards!"

"Spaghetti when you have a small pot." Tony piped up again.

"My hopes and dreams of beating Peter at this stupid game?"

* * *

 **(Cookies)**

Very rarely was Peter ever allowed to mess with the oven. But no one was home, Tony had a hungover, and wanted cookies so…he regretted letting Peter talking him into letting the youngest Avenger bake something.

"So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for one minute."

"NO-"

"HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR ONE SECOND?!"

"YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE TOWER DOWN!"

"I'M GONNA USE THE SUN TO MAKE THE COOKIES!"

"PETER PLEASE!"


	11. Sacrifice

**(Spoilers for Endgame)**

* * *

The battlefield was eerily quiet, no longer did the screams of fighting or metal slapping against metal fill the air. The enemies they once fought either lied still on the ground, or floated away, no longer a threat, but merely dust in the wind.

Thanos and his army, everything the team once dreaded and feared, were now gone.

But at what cost.

"No." A figure, a male, breathed out, standing on shaky legs. He tore off his mask, unable to breath with it on as it suffocated him. His chest felt tight, the adrenaline finally dying down, the sight before him crushed him. "No, _no_!" He shouted, doing his best to run, his wobbling legs making it difficult to do so.

A body sat on the ground, leaning against one of the pieces that had fallen off Thanos' ship. Another male, whose breathing was ragged and low, his right-hand glowing from the stones that once belonged to the titan. He could barley keep his eyes open, but was able to tell when the other male dropped to his knees beside him.

"Why?" The one kneeling asked, voice but a mere whisper. He was trying to stay strong, but everyone could hear the pain and sorrow in his one word.

"To..save…you all." The sitting figure spoke, which was followed by a violent and nasty cough. He was smiling through the pain. The bastard was _still_ smiling.

"But you didn't need to." The other choked out, tears forming in his eyes as he grabbed onto the other males' shoulders. "It-It wasn't supposed to happen like this! This wasn't your call to make!"

"But I…made it anyway." He replied weakly, his breathing now coming out slower than before, his heart rate declining.

"Why?" The figure asked again, tears dropping down and traveling across his bloodied and bruised cheeks.

"You've done…so much for me. I couldn't…let you die." The sitting man informed.

"Everything I've done was for you! To make your life easier! To make you happy!" His hands squeezed the shoulders. "Out of all the times for you to be selfless, this wasn't one of them!"

"I'm sorry." The figure apologized. "But the world…needs you more."

"And I need you! You kept me going, made me want to be _better_! I can't…I can't…" He trailed off, openly crying, no longer fighting the tears away as they openly and freely fell at a rapid pace. "It wasn't supposed to end like this!"

"Nothing…ever goes…as planned." The figure laughed. "I-I never told you this…but I…I always thought of you…as family."

Why? Why did he have to say that _now_ as he was _dying_?! Did he not know how hurt the other male was right now? How angry and sad he was both at himself and the situation they found themselves in.

Fingers gently and delicately reached under and began taking his mask off, revealing to all a pale face, dull, almost lifeless eyes, and a small smile. That _damn_ smile, the one he always gave to reassure everyone that everything would be okay.

This _wasn't_ going to be okay!

"I've…I've always thought of you…as my father…Mr Stark." Peter wheezed out, finding it harder and harder to breathe. Tears were slowly starting to form in the corner of his eyes.

"And I considered you a son, Peter." Tony sniffled. "I'm sorry. I'm so, _so_ sorry! He-Het got the better of me and I-and I…I _failed_ you."

"It wasn't…your fault."

"But it _was_!" He shouted, his arms finding their way around the teen, bringing himself closer to the kid. "And now you're paying for it!"

An arm found itself wrapped around himself, as did the last spider leg of Peter's suit that hadn't been destroyed.

"I love you, Mr. Stark. Please…don't blame…yourself."

"I love you too kid."

The arm, both flesh and metallic, fell to the ground. His breathing had stopped, pulse disappeared, and eyes lifeless, no longer holding that blinding light everyone had loved.

Spiderman, but more importantly, Peter Parker, was no more.

Two arms found themselves wrapped around Tony as Pepper Potts tried to comfort him, her own tears flowing down her cheeks. But her husband never let go of the one he saw as a son.

The other didn't notice as the other, both Avengers and Guardian alike, began to kneel down, in honor and out of respect of the comrade, of the friend, and of the hero, they had lost.

* * *

 **(My ending)**


	12. Girl Problems

**(The story isn't over, I just really wanted to write the last chapter. Think of chapter 11 as an AU chapter, or a non-canon one.)**

* * *

 **(Here Kitty Kitty)**

Tony yawned loudly as he walked through the Avengers tower, hair still messy from waking up minute's prior. Everyone else was currently in the kitchen getting breakfast, everyone except the resident, loveable arachnid that is. And seeing how it was Saturday, that meant it was Tony's job to get him.

"Kid? You awake?" Tony asked, knocking on the door to Peters room. When no one replied after a solid 30 seconds, he sighed and opened the door. "Kid, it's time for break-" Whatever else he was about to say died in his throat. His eyes widened, and he placed his hands over his mouth to stop a scream from coming out. What could've caused this reaction, you may ask?

There was a girl in Peters bed, _sleeping_ with Peter, _cuddling_ his chest. Her long, silver hair hid most of her face, but he could _definitely_ see she was smiling.

Body shaking from happiness and excitement, he was quick to exit the room and shut the door, before screaming in joy. He started to run towards the kitchen area, almost slipping multiple times in the process but managing to catch himself before faceplanting.

"Guys! Guys you'll _never_ believe what I just saw!" Tony screamed as he ran into the kitchen, sliding on the ground and bumping into the island.

"The top of the fridge?" Clint asked, mouth half full of cereal. The short joke got a snort out of some of the other occupants of the room.

"Jarvis! Make an appointment for Monday! I'm getting the damn surgery!" Tony shouted to his AI.

"Right away, sir."

"Cancel that Jarvis! He's _not_ getting the surgery to make him taller!" Steve ordered.

"Very well, Captain Rogers."

"Traitor!"

Tony's height had always been a sensitive subject for him, one that people like Clint took full advantage of and often teased him about. The genius had considered frequently getting a surgery to make him taller, but Cap and Pepper always stopped him from doing so.

"Tony, rewind back. What's got you so excited?" Nat questioned.

"Oh yeah! It's Peter! I went to go wake him up, and there was a _girl_ in the bed with him!" He exclaimed, still unable to leave such words had left his mouth. He knew the kid was loveable, but to _already_ sleep with a girl at his age? He was proud!

The reactions were mixed, of course. And Thor seemed to be the only one to share Tony's excitement.

Clint began choking on his cereal, Steve and Hulk seemed surprise, the cup of coffee in Natasha's hand fell to the ground, Thor was grinning, and the plate that Wanda had been floating over to herself shattered onto the ground.

"W-What?!" Clint exclaimed after chugging his coffee to force the cereal that was stuck in his throat down.

"Ah, the Spider truly is a man now! Let us celebrate!"

Nat got up from her seat abruptly and began to walk towards Peter's room, but Cap intercepted her and forced her back into her seat. Without a word he removed the pistol from her waist, and knife from her boot.

Wanda was similar. Before he could fly away towards his room, Hulk grabbed her and made her sit back down.

"Steve, let me go."

"No Nat."

"Bruce?"

"Sorry Wanda, but no."

"I agree with Thor! This is cause for celebration! My little Peter is finally growing up." Tony fake sniffed.

"Jarvis! Pull up the camera in Peter's room! Let's take a look at his tower wrecker." Wanda growled.

"Of course, Ms. Maximoff."

A light on the island blinked green, before a holographic video screen appeared before the group, showing off Peter's room. It was different from when Tony went in there, and the change was very significant.

The two were now awake.

" _Oh god, why are you in here?! In_ _ **my**_ _bed with_ _ **me**_ _?!"_ _Peter was hyperventilating now, quick to web his shirt from across the room to himself before putting it on._

" _Got tired after you patched me up last night, so I decided to crash here with you. What's wrong? Is my little Spider shy?"_ _She purred, sitting up in the bed, allowing the blanket to fall off. To the relief of some of the Avengers, she did have a bra on._

Although what she said did confuse them. Patch her up? What did she mean?

" _You need to leave,_ _ **right now**_ _! They can't know I let you in here! We aren't supposed to be seen together!" He yelled, webbing something off screen before throwing it onto the bed. The item was a black bodysuit._

"Why does that suit seem familiar?" Tony muttered.

" _C'mon, what's the worse that'll happen?"_

" _Uh, Natasha will kill you! Steve would try to lock you up! Mr. Stark would…he would…ok I can't think of anything, but it'd be embarrassing! I knew bringing you back here last night was a bad idea."_

 _The girl giggled, before getting up from the bed and making her way to the young hero, hips swaying with every step. They could hear him gulp as she snuck a hand under his shirt._

" _Live a little Pete. Risks are part of our jobs, aren't they? They just add to the_ _ **fun**_ _."_

" _Felicia-" Whatever he was about to say was cut off as she closed the distance between the two, bringing him into a kiss._

"Gross." Clint spat out.

"Black body suit, silver hair, named Felicia…" Nat trailed off, her eyes beginning to widen. "Holy shit!"

" _We can't be together unless you turn over a new leaf. Please, stop being Black Cat. For me?" Peter begged, breaking the kiss. Black Cat chuckled before putting on her suit._

" _Old habits die hard Spider. Besides, we both know you'll keep chasing after me. Good girl or not."_

 _Before he could retaliate she was already jumping out of his window, causing the boy to sigh. Slipping on his mask he jumped out as well, wanting to make sure she'd be okay._

"Black Cat?" Thor asked.

"She's a world-renowned cat burglar, who takes after her father, the original Black Cat that operated back in the 70s. She steals anything of value and sells it." Nat informed.

"The kid's seeing a villain?!"

"I am _so_ proud I may actually cry!"

The elevator dinged, and everyone turned to see Peter walk through the elevator doors, no longer with his mask on but still in his pants and shirt. He was hiding something behind his back.

"Oh, I uh, I thought you guys would still be asleep…why do Nat and Wanda look so mad?"

 **(Just Friends!)**

Dinner time was supposed to be the one place where Peter never got asked stupid or embarrassing questions. Everyone was too focused on their food to think of one.

But leave it to Mr. Stark to ruin everything.

"So…who's Yuri?" Tony asked out of the blue, causing Peter to choke on his drink.

"W-What?! W-Why do y-you ask Mr. Stark?"

"Ah, another friend of the Spiders! We should invite him over for drinks!"

"It's a _her_ Thor." Tony corrected, stopping himself from continuing his meal to glance at Peter. He paid no mind to Nat or Wanda as they glared at him for bringing it up.

"Tony, leave the poor kid alone. He's still traumatized over that 'celebration party' you threw for him after the Black Cat incident." Steve ordered, bringing up the horrifying party Tony had thrown for Peter.

So…many…strippers…

"A-And how do you even k-know about her Mr. Stark?"

"Well, the phone plan I have for you is supposed to notify me when you send over 100 texts per month." Tony informed, before tapping the table. A hologram appeared, showing information gathered from Peter's phone from last month. "But last month, you managed to send _triple_ that amount and sent 300 texts to her."

Clint, who was in the middle of taking a sip of his drink, spat it out onto the table, nearly soiling Bruce's food.

"300?!"

"I will admit that does seem a bit…excessive son."

"Peter, be honest with us…did you send any naked photos?" Bruce questioned, causing Peter to squawk in embarrassment and turn red. "Because that's illegal, and we should hire a lawyer _immediately_ just incase she decides to go to the police."

"I know a guy named Matthew Murdock. He's a blind superhero who goes by the name 'Daredevil'." Clint informed.

"I have a cousin named Jennifer Walters. She's a hulk like I am, and I can _guarantee_ a win. Since ya know, _no one_ wants to her against a hulk, whether its on the battlefield or in court."

"GUY! I appreciate the help but _no one_ is sending nudes!" Peter exclaimed, unable to believe they were _actually_ talking about this. "Yuri's the captain on the police force! We've been working together almost ever since I was bit. When there's a robbery or hostage situation, she calls me to take care of it. Nothing more, and nothing less!"

"…But 300 in a month?" Steve asked.

"Yes. I'm not like you guys, who are always fighting robots and aliens and stuff. I usually take care of the small stuff like robbery and car theft." He informed. "I promise you, there's nothing going on between the two of us."

There was a sudden ringing sound, and Peter reached into his pocket and brought out his phone before answering.

"Hi Yuri! Do I want to see a movie? What movie are you talking about?" He questioned, ignoring all the stares being sent his way. "That one?! Oh man, I've been looking forward to that movie for _months_! Yeah, yeah I'll get ready and swing over to your place. Bye!" Peter hung up the phone, a wide smile on his face.

"I want you back by cur-"

"Curfew! Got it Mr. Stark! Bye everyone, see ya later!" Peter exclaimed, getting up from the table before running to his room to get ready.

A chorus of sighs broke out at the sound of glass breaking.

"I'll go get the medkit." Steve informed, standing up to retrieve said item to bandage up the hands of both Nat and Wanda.


	13. Panic Attack

**(Contains Spoilers for Avengers Infinity War. Don't read if you haven't seen it!)**

* * *

"And then-And then we can visit the voice actors! And after that we can see what games are gonna be revealed! And then-"

"Slooooow down Underoos, you're planning hours ahead when we've been here for 30 minutes." Tony informed, picking up a cup full of red slushy off of a stand and leaving 50 dollars before handing it to Peter. "Relax and live in the moment."

"Right, sorry Mr. Stark!" Peter apologized, accepting the red drink before taking a sip. "It's just that I've been really excited! This convention happens only _once_ a year! _Annnnd_ it came here out of everywhere! How awesome is that?!" The young Avenger exclaimed, causing the older one to chuckle.

A video game company was holding a convention in New York, and Tony thought it'd be nice to take Peter so the two could hang out, and maybe he could even develop an interest in one of the games being shown to have something else in common with Peter. It was called…Blizz-something, he didn't know. All he knew was that posters of a brunette female in orange spandex were plastered _everywhere_.

And ok, _maybe_ Tony offered a large sum of money for the event to be held here instead of LA. Who could say?

He could, and he _totally_ did.

"Oh! Maybe we could talk to the creators of this one game I like into putting _you_ into the game! An Iron Man and Mercy combination would be _awesome_!"

Man, Tony _really_ wish he knew what Pete was talking about. The older avenger didn't often play games, and when he did, it was with the others, and often Nintendo related like Smash Bros or Mario Kart.

"Maybe…maybe…" Tony trailed off, eyes traveling to a group of three women as they passed. One was wearing tight orange spandex (much like the girl in the posters), one was wearing bright-ish blue and white spandex, while holding a bottle of mountain dew, and the final was wearing tight light purple spandex. The front of her suit was opened, revealing the sides of her breasts. "God…damn! Hey Pete, who's she cosplaying…as?" Tony asked, turning to see that the younger avenger wasn't next to him.

"Peter?" Tony asked, his voice going a little louder as he began doing 360s, looking for the boy in question.

He didn't no it, but his breathing was coming out harder and faster than before, chest tightening as he searched, but it was all to no avail. Peter wasn't here: he was _gone_.

' _Gone?'_ Tony thought, tears started to form in the corner of his eyes behind his glasses.

Sudden flashbacks were coming back, of him and a wizard fighting a titan on an alien planet, their victory near. Until an idiot broke their plan, allowing the titan to win.

 _SNAP_.

And then suddenly, everyone was disappearing. The wizard, the idiot, the girl with the antennas, and discount Hulk, all _gone_.

And only he and Peter were left.

' _Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good.'_

Tony felt his throat begin to dry out, tears now falling down his cheeks as he remembered that day. How weak and hurt Peter appeared to be as he struggled to walk, falling and latching himself onto Tony as he began to cry, begging not to go like the others.

But then he did.

He turned to dust and ash in Tony's very arms.

 _Snap_.

"Mr. Stark?" A voice called out, causing the older avenger to whirl around. He saw Peter, alive and well, staring at him with concern while holding onto a small box with some kind of toy. "A-Are you okay sir?"

Tony didn't say anything, he merely walked over, whole body shaking as he did so. With wobbly hands he reached up and grabbed either side of Peter's face.

"Uh…this kinda weird Mr. Stark."

Again Tony said nothing, he merely slipped his arms around Peter, bringing him into a hug to remind himself, Peter was _here_ , they had _won_ , and Thanos was _gone_!

"I love you too Mr. Stark? H-Hey, are you crying?"

"You're grounded for the rest of the convention." Tony informed, pulling back to wipe away his tears.

"W-What?! What did I do?!"

"This is the _second_ time you've left me, now let's go." He ordered, walking away with Peter in tow.

"When was the first?!"

Peter would end up missing the rest of the convention due to his surprise grounding, but _maybe_ Tony felt bad for causing it, and _maybe_ he'd bribe them to stay an extra day or two so they could try going their again.

Oh who was he kidding? He was already on the phone the company the second he dropped Peter off at the tower.


	14. Randomness 6

**(Rain)**

 _Peter whistled as he strolled down the sidewalk, greeting everyone with a toothy smile and friendly wave._

 _When Peter wasn't web swinging, he often took strolls around the city. He loved interacting with the people of New York, and often offered help whenever possible._

 _What he_ _ **didn't**_ _love was when it began to rain on his walk, and out of nowhere he felt a few drops hit his shoulders. Looking up, he grimaced as the clouds above began to darken. Thunder could be heard roaring in the distance like the Hulk._

 _Suddenly, he remembered something. With a grin he pulled out a card from his wallet, and held it towards the sky._

 _It was an Uno reverse card._

 **(Avengers Tower, an hour later)**

"And _that's_ why the rain's going up instead of down." Peter informed Tony as the two stood on the roof of the tower, watching as the rain, indeed, went upwards instead of downwards. They could very clearly hear it, but couldn't see it through the dark, gray clouds.

"Peter…how?"

"WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK?!" They heard Doctor Strange shout as he floated in the sky, attempting to undo what Peter had done. The wizard had been at this for the past 40 minutes, and was still unable to fix it.

* * *

 **(Advice)**

Ever since the whole 'constitution' thing, Steve had grown weary of Peter coming to him for both questions and advice. But right now, with the kid looking _so_ stressed out, he took a chance and decided to listen to him.

"Mr. America, how…do I get a girl to like me?"

Oh, was that it?

Wait…OH MY GOD PETER LIKED A GIRL!

"Well son, for starters, it doesn't matter what you look like. What matters is what's underneath." Steve informed, causing Bucky, who sat next to him, to nod and hum in agreement.

"Right, muscles."

"That's not what I-"

"C'mon kid, I'll show you how to bench a truck." Bucky stated, standing up and grabbing Peter by the waist before lifting him up and over his shoulder.

"Bye Mr. America, Mr. Bucky's gonna teach me to bench a truck!"

"And maybe even Starks jet if we have time."

Steve sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing, and re-focused his attention on the history channel.

* * *

 **(Mii problem)**

Tony sighed loudly, hands dragging down his face as his head pounded violently. He and a few of the others had played a drinking game last night, and he ended up winning. But at what cost? He was miserable, with a hangover. And it _didn't_ help as a _certain_ someone was blasting their music in the room.

"Peter, for the love of god, PLEASE turn down that music! I have a hangover!" The older Avenger begged.

Peter, who has been blasting the Mii theme music for the past 20 minutes, turned the volume up louder in response as he continued to nae-nae.

"That sounds like a you problem Mr. Stark, not a Mii problem!"

* * *

 **(Jogging)**

Sam often jogged to clear his head, and to keep his body in shape. He enjoyed it, mainly because it gave him free time and some peace and quiet. It wasn't always lime this sadly…

"On your left!" A voice shouted, causing Sam to sigh as he watched Steve rush past him on his left side.

Old habits never died apparently.

"On your right!" A new voice shouted, and soon Bucky ran past on his right side.

"Above you!" Peter shouted as he shot a web out and swung above him.

"Between your feet!" Scott exclaimed via headset as he, and an ant, flew between the bird Avengers legs.

"For fuck sake, leave me alone!"

* * *

 **(Poison)**

Loki watched the child closely, as he held the glass Loki had given up to his face, studying it closely. The black liquid bubbled ominously. With a shrug he chugged it down with one gulp, causing Loki to smirk.

"It appears your 'spider sense' has failed you."

"Oh no, I knew it was poisoned. I just didn't want you to be upset." Peter informed with a bright smile, his teeth already turning purple.

"…Let me go find the cure, I'm keeping you around for now."


End file.
